The Fake Heartbreak (Searching for Love Book 3) Read online

  Then he turns, and his face goes slack. He stands stock still for a moment as he takes me in, his eyes lingering on the curve of my bare arms and my exposed collar bone, and then my face and hair.

  “You’re beautiful,” Leo says.

  I freeze at the compliment, and a rush of giddy joy rushes through me. He thinks I’m beautiful. Not that I looked beautiful, or that I looked good, not that I was pretty. Just that I am beautiful.

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  Leo clears his throat and grabs a few things from his bag. “I’ll just get dressed.”

  He gestures at the bathroom, and I step aside.

  “Right,” I say. “Of course.”

  He vanishes into the bathroom, and I slip into my grey velvet heels. I know I shouldn’t read too much into Leo thinking I’m beautiful, but even so my lips keep curving into a smile.

  The best part is, it seemed like his bad mood shifted at the sight of me. Maybe he remembered how good I can actually be at playing his fake girlfriend.

  I pull out a silver necklace and clasp it around my neck. I consider putting on matching earrings, but decide against it. I’ll just keep my hair down, since it hasn’t gone frizzy or anything.

  Leo comes out of the bathroom in dress pants and a crisp white button-down. He grabs a jacket from his suitcase and tugs it on.

  “You look impeccable,” I say.

  I want to tell him he’s the best-looking man I’ve ever seen. I want to tell him that I didn’t mean to flirt with Vince, and it won’t happen ever again. I want to tell him that I’m going to be the most attentive fake girlfriend in the world tonight.

  But I bite my tongue and just smile. He smiles back, and I hope that means we’ve moved past this afternoon.

  “Well,” Leo says. “Ready?”

  “Yes,” I say.

  He offers me his arm, and it seems like the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. I know that one of my artistic lovers must have done something far more romantic at some point, but at this moment, there’s nothing better than Leo’s strong arm, awaiting my hand. I grab on, and we move towards the door.

  19

  The dining room is gorgeous. There are these twinkly lights strewn across the walls, and the tables have bouquets of wildflowers. The big doors on one side open up to a veranda that stretches towards the lake.

  I lean closer to Leo. There’s a bunch of people milling about with cocktails. I know this dinner can go well. As long as we stick together, we’ll fall into the zone. It will be just like the bridal shower except better.

  “Marianne, you look lovely!” Vince appears at my elbow. I see Leo’s jaw clench. “Here’s a glass of wine.”

  He’s offering a glass of white, just like I was drinking at the bridal shower. Since it would be obnoxious to outright reject it, I grab it, even though I can see the entire exchange is pushing Leo right back into his bad mood. I want to be polite though. Vince is more likely to start gossipping if I give him the cold shoulder. He might tell everyone that Leo demanded that I no longer talk to Vince, and that will make everyone think Leo is this over-controlling boyfriend with a jealousy problem.

  “Thanks, Vince.” I give him a smile. “It's a bit creepy that you’re memorizing all the ladies’ drink orders now.”

  “Oh no, just yours.”

  I bite my lip as Leo’s eyes go stony and cold. I didn’t mean for it to sound flirtatious. I was just trying to be nice and relaxed. Vince is the one who took it too far.

  “We should go find our table,” Leo says.

  He nods at Vince and starts to steer me away. Instead of going towards the tables, he leads me out to the veranda.

  He’s making a beeline to the steps off the veranda, but we run right into a glowing Melanie.

  “Leo, hi!” Melanie hugs Leo and then me. “And Marianne, I’m so happy you made it!”

  “Hi, Melaine,” I say. “Congratulations, this inn is beautiful.”

  Melanie lets out a happy little sigh. I cock my head and admire her grinning visage. What’s it like to be that happy about all your life choices?

  “Thank you,” Melanie says. “Now I have to go greet my grandma, but promise we’ll talk later, ok?”

  We both agree, and Melanie dashes off, a whirlwind of glee and excitement.

  Leo’s mouth flattens back into a frown. He lets go of my hand and stalks to the edge of the porch. I lengthen my stride to keep up.

  Once we’re down in the grass leading up to the lake and well out of sight from the dinner, Leo rounds on me. “What the hell are you playing at?”

  I open my mouth and then snap it shut. I knew he was grumpy, but I didn’t think he was this angry. “What do you mean?”

  It’s the absolute dumbest thing I could have said. Playing dumb is never going to appease a guy like Leo. He lets out a sound akin to a growl. “You know what I mean. Earlier at the lake and just now with Vince. You’re making me look stupid.”

  “I was just being nice, I didn’t know he was such a flirty guy.” I cross my arms. I’m getting defensive, but this isn’t all my fault.

  “He’s not a flirty guy, he’s just doing it to be an asshole to me,” Leo snaps.

  Even though I came to a similar conclusion, the insult stings. He’s implying that Vince is not at all charmed by me and is playing his own cruel game.

  “I know it’s totally inconceivable that anyone would want to chat with me since you don’t like me,” I say. “But maybe Vince just thought it was a little weird that you abandoned me to throw yourself at Abby.”

  Leo scoffs. “I was catching up with a friend, I wasn’t acting like a hussy at the lake like you were.”

  “A hussy?” I throw my arms out. “I’m sorry, when did we get transported back to 1882?”

  “Oh, I could use worse words,” Leo hisses through clenched teeth.

  I burn bright red. I know what words he means. And the worst part is, he has a point. Vince and I were all over each other, but there’s no way I’m apologizing. It’s clear he had no intention of saying sorry to me.

  “Leo, I don’t like getting played,” I say. “I asked you when this whole thing started if you had any sort of motive you were keeping from me.”

  Leo crumples his face in confusion. “What now, Marianne? What dramatic conspiracy theory do you have that could possibly explain you doing a totally crap job of playing my girlfriend?”

  “You and Abby.” I gesticulate wildly with my arms. “You’re clearly into her, and you clearly dragged me here to make her jealous. Which would have been fine, if you had just told me.”

  Leo actually laughs in my face. I press my lips together to keep from screaming and cross my arms.

  “I am not into Abby,” he says. “Not everything is like a play. And I never did hide anything from you. I told you why you were here.”

  I roll my eyes. “Well, you’re acting like you’re into her, and she clearly wants you, so what’s the point of me even being here? Your little ploy worked. Your friends no longer think you’re a loser, I am now rendered pointless.”

  “Don’t go.” Leo’s voice is stern, and there’s a hint of panic. “You can’t just leave.”

  I blink up at him and shrug. I had no intention of leaving. A deal’s a deal.

  “And you can’t make this all my fault all of a sudden,” Leo says. “You were the one acting out of line at the lake, you were the one not following any of our agreements.”

  “Ok, well, maybe if you hadn’t gone chasing Abby, I wouldn’t have had to spend time with Vince.”

  “I was not chasing her, Marianne.” Leo’s voice remains low, but I have a feeling he would be shouting if we weren’t so close to a crowd. “And you didn’t have to be so flirty with Vince.”

  “I was not flirting, I was being nice, which is what you wanted me to do.” I was totally flirting, but I don’t like the way Leo keeps jumping down my throat.

  I also don’t know what to think when it comes to Abby. Maybe I leapt to conclu
sions when I assumed he was interested in her and it was only a prop to make her jealous, but also I refuse to believe there’s nothing between then. I saw the way she looked at him.

  Leo clenches his face. “Do you know how humiliated I feel right now? The way Vince was acting, and even just now. Did you only come to this so you could see him again?”

  “No!” I recoil from Leo’s wrath. He’s talking to me like I’m some sort of reckless child. “I came here to help you, but clearly it’s not a girlfriend you need. You just need better friends and more guts to ask Abby out!”

  “Stop mentioning her –” Leo is about to go on, but just then one of the waitstaff in a crisp white shirt appears around the corner.

  “Um.” the waiter shifts from foot to foot. “Dinner is starting, everyone is going to their seats.”

  I force myself to calm down as I smile at the waiter. I’ve worked waitstaff jobs often enough to know what it’s like to feel awkward around dramatic dinner guests.

  “Thank you so much,” I say to the waiter. “We’ll head in now.”

  The waiter bobs his head and disappears. I turn to Leo. His face is still cold, and it looks like he wants to say more, but he remains composed. We have dinner to get through after all. And, I know the one thing Leo will never do is cause a scene.

  “We’ll talk more later,” he mutters.

  To my surprise, he grabs my hand as we walk back onto the veranda and towards the tables. Apparently our fight isn’t going to stop him from keeping up the pretense that we have a perfect relationship. If he can do it, then so can I.

  I keep my head held high and a small smile plastered on my face as we meander through the tables, looking for our assigned seating.

  Everyone is smiling and chatting and laughing, and the drinks are flowing, and suddenly I feel so small and overwhelmed. I thought this would be fun. Easy. A lark. It’s a nightmare instead. I want to run away, but I also want to stay forever with my hand in Leo’s.

  I flinch at the thought. When did I become so reliant on him? His anger, which I can still feel radiating off him, has shaken me. Usually, I don’t care what others think, but it’s different with Leo. I want him to like me. I want him to want me.

  I sit down and stare at the artful table settings of blue ceramic plates and cloth napkins. I’m so mixed-up. I don’t know what I feel for Leo exactly, but I finally have to admit to myself that he’s more than just a guy I hooked up with. I enjoy spending time with him, which is truly astounding since he’s so buttoned-up and corporate.

  I chew on my lip and take a small sip of wine. Leo seems lost in his own thoughts, and I’m not going to push him. I’ve got to sort out my own feelings.

  While he was chastising me, the whole time I wanted to throw myself into his arms and beg for his forgiveness. I wanted to confess that I was the one who was jealous of Abby because she was getting to spend time with him.

  Of course, I would get myself into such a hopeless situation. Leo and I have no future. He certainly doesn’t see me as a viable option, and I can’t fathom actually dating him. What would we even tell people when they asked how we met?

  This will just have to be a painful phase. A tragic little story of unrequited feelings. I’ll get through this weekend, and then I’ll never see him again. Maybe I’ll channel my feelings into some songwriting, although right now I just feel like crying.

  Why did I have to fall for such an unavailable guy?

  I can’t ever let him know. Leo would feel awkward and uncomfortable. I’m supposed to be here in a professional capacity. He picked me because I could act and I’m pretty enough and the type of girl he would never develop strong feelings for.

  I look at him once more. His brow is furrowed as he studies the bouquet in the center of the table as if it’s the most fascinating thing in the world. I want to reach up and brush my fingers against the stubble on his jaw and then in his hair. Maybe, I could even pass it off as part of my acting.

  I fold my hands in my lap. Better not do anything right now. I need to play it safe. Then, when I’m back in my Chicago apartment, I can process my feelings and write long journal entries about how I have a tendency to be attracted to men who will never love me back.

  I sigh and prop my chin on my hands.

  “You alright?” Leo asks.

  I look up at him in surprise. I open my mouth and consider telling him the truth.

  But I’m an actress, so I do what actresses always do: I lie.

  “Yes,” I say.

  20

  My first big stroke of luck is that Vince is not seated at our table. I don’t think Leo could have maintained his composure if Vince slid into the chair next to me and got too cosy.

  Unfortunately, that’s my only piece of luck. Everyone else at the table is rubbing me the wrong way.

  As far as I can tell, it’s a bunch of friends from college. Jacob and Leo both went into investment banking after graduating, and that’s how they met Vince. These guys at our table have various jobs that are mostly hot air as far as I can tell, and they all have dates with vacant faces. I’m surprised Melanie even let them have plus ones. Their dates are all picking at their food and scrunching up their overdone faces while their men ignore them.

  Leo introduces me, and they all check me out but don’t bother to ask me any questions.

  Instead one guy who Leo introduced as Jeff launches into an account of a totally awesome night he had at Tao, a nightclub in downtown Chicago, the week before. I pick at my salad and drown him out.

  Nodding and smiling along while narcissist bros brag about their partying is definitely where I draw the line. Even as a fake girlfriend, I can’t be that attentive.

  Besides, after our fight, I’m pretty sure Leo’s expectations for me are extremely low. As long as I don’t start flirting like a tenth-grader with one of these guys, he’ll probably be happy.

  I flush with renewed embarrassment as I remember how I acted at the lake, and I resolve to not talk to Vince for the rest of the night.

  The conversation moves along with very little input from me and Leo. About halfway through our meal, I decide I should at least try to participate. It’s what Leo would want. A socially adept fake girlfriend.

  I turn to the girl next to me and smile. She’s with a guy who was introduced as Ross, and I’m pretty sure her name is Leanne.

  “So how did you and Ross meet?” It’s not the most compelling question, but it’s all I can think of.

  “Oh, on Tindr,” Leanne says.

  I almost laugh out loud. Lots of people meet on dating apps, but often they never want to admit that’s how they met. I know couples who come up with elaborate back stories to hide the fact they met online. It’s silly because most people use online dating nowadays. I even have some of the apps, and I would use them more often if I didn’t meet so many people through the performance and open mic circuit.

  “Nice.” I catch Ross giving Leanne a look, and I want to make her feel better. “One of my good friends from college just got engaged to a guy she met on a dating app, it’s so cute.”

  I was trying to be nice, but now Ross is glaring at me. Apparently, an engagement is not on the agenda with Leanne. I feel bad for her, as she cannot see his icy eyes. Although I have to say, if Ross doesn’t want to talk about getting engaged with Leanne, bringing her to a wedding was not the best idea.

  “This wedding venue is super amazing though,” I say. “I love this inn.”

  Leanne looks around and shrugs. “It’s a little too country for me. I’m not super outdoorsy.”

  “I hear you are outdoorsy though.” Ross is looking at me with a glint in his eye.

  I furrow my brow. Is it possible that he already heard about how I was flirting with Vince at the lake? Who told him? It had to be Abby or Vince. Or both.

  Or maybe Leo confided in one of his friends. The truth is, I don’t understand how the friendships even work at this wedding. They’ve known each other for years. That’s a lot of hi
story and nuance.

  “Oh, I’ve lived in Chicago for so long, I’ve learned to appreciate nature a bit more,” I say. “Especially when the weather is so perfect.”

  I had a great-aunt who once told me that whenever I was in doubt during a social situation, I must talk about the weather. I thought her advice was nonsense at the time. Why would I talk about the weather when there are so many more interesting topics in the world? And for most of my life, I”ve been confident enough to discuss a range of topics. Now I’m falling back on her advice. I don’t want any trouble. I don’t want to cause a scene. So I’ll bite my tongue and talk about the weather.

  “Right, well, I hope you enjoy the weekend,” Ross says. “Although I’m sure you’re used to being bored dating this one.”

  He nods his head at Leo and rolls his eyes. I frown. It’s not like I haven’t heard the joke before. Vince made a similar comment at the bridal shower. Clearly, Leo’s friends think of him as a wet blanket. The boring, uptight guy.

  “Yeah, seriously,” another guy at the table whose name I can’t remember pipes up. He’s clearly already had too much to drink. “Everyone’s been talking about how Leo’s new girlfriend is too fun for him.”

  I look at Leo, expecting him to say something, but he’s gone still. He has a small smile plastered on his face, but his eyes are distant. This is how he deals with his friends’ jokes. How he has dealt with them for years.

  Well, it’s not how Marianne Gellar deals with toxic friends.

  “I mean, we also didn’t even think you existed,” Ross jokes. “Leo’s been celibate ever since his little tragedy.”

  I widen my eyes. These guys are total jerks. First of all, it’s absolutely horrible to bring up any past relationship in front of a current partner, and to bring up a relationship that ended in such a dramatic way makes it even worse. They’re clearly only doing it because they’re jealous. Leo is ten times better looking and smarter, and I’m sure he makes more money. Not that I care, but that’s the language these guys speak.

  Suddenly inspired, I raise one eyebrow and give Ross a cold smile. “Oh, based on what I’ve seen, I have a hard time believing he’s been celibate.”